Tribulations of a Pirate
by HowCouldThisHappenToMe
Summary: Drabbles and excerpts. Reposts from LJ chaos thread. Multiple themes, characters and prompts. Ace, Thatch, Marco, Luffy
1. Not A Girl

**Well, ya see... I found this thread on livejournal where we give each other prompts, write little ficlets and then give another prompt. It's a lot of fun, and I just started posting in it. So, I decided I would start posting my contributions to the thread on this site as well. ;)**

**If you would like to read fics by the other great people as well, I'll be putting the link to the thread on my profile page.**

**Prompt: **"You know that girl you've been chatting up all night? That's not a girl."  
**Characters:** Ace, Thatch, OC

* * *

Portgas D. Ace walked into the tavern with one goal in mind (after filling his stomach, of course). Let's face it, he was a young man who had certain... needs. Needs that sure as hell weren't going to be filled aboard Oyaji's ship, if he had any say in the matter. It wasn't that the nurses or other female crew members weren't attractive, it was just... they were supposed to be, like, his _sisters_. So, for that reason, Ace left the _Moby Dick_ the first chance he got, giving the excuse that he had "things to do". No one questioned him; he was a grown man and a pirate. He could do whatever the hell he wanted so long as he didn't do something to piss off Oyaji... or Marco. Some may not realize this, but Marco was one _scary_ son of a bitch when he got angry.

As Ace entered the tavern, he found it to be exactly like any other he'd been in before. Men were loud, drunk or getting there. A musician was at the piano, pounding out notes in order to be heard above the racket. The tune kind of reminded him of a sea shanty he'd heard the other Whitebeard Pirates sing at parties, but he couldn't place it... Something about sake and a guy named Binks. The lighting in the place was dim, but that didn't bother Ace any. He didn't exactly _want_ to be recognize at the moment, least of all by some Marine that happened to pop in due to a bar-fight (and Ace swears up and down he didn't start the last one; no one on the ship believed him).

There were only a few women in the bar, for reasons Ace figured were obvious, but he managed to spot a few who weren't being harassed by the other men. While the chivalrous method would probably get him laid, Ace wasn't planning on starting a fight that would draw unnecessary attention. Why? Because Marco was a scary son of a bitch when pissed off. As Ace continued to glance around the tavern, he spotted a young woman sitting alone in the corner. She looked good. He wondered briefly why she wasn't with anyone or being harassed as he nonchalantly walked towards her table.

"Are you waiting for someone?" he asked politely, earning a coy smile from the woman.

"I could be waiting for you, if you want?" she answered. Ace figured she was a professional, but he liked the sound of that tonight. It could be quick, no strings attached.

Ace proceeded to spend the evening flirting with the young woman, still wondering how in the hell other men were staying away from her that night. She said his sweet-talking would get him far if he kept it up, so he did. And she continued to lead him on, just like a professional of her trade would do. As the night grew darker, Ace and the woman (whose name he'd never asked for) stood to go somewhere a bit more private. That was when he saw Thatch, with that damned grin wide across his face.

"Excuse me for a minute." The woman nodded and watched him walk towards the blond who was trembling with laughter.

"Having fun?" he asked once Ace neared him.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"You should be thanking me. You were about to make a great mistake."

"Enlighten me."

"You know that woman you've been talking to all night?"

"Yeah," Ace answered irritably. Really, Thatch, he just wanted to get in, get laid, and get out. Was that too much to ask?

"That's not a woman." That stopped Ace in his tracks and he whirled around to look at the 'woman' he'd been speaking to. She was now standing under direct lighting and he could see the broad shoulders, the stuffing in the dress, the beginnings of a five-o-clock shadow. Ace suddenly felt like he'd been dumped in a tub of ice; his sex drive had evaporated.

"Excuse me while I go throw up."

Thatch could no longer hold his laughter as he watched the young lad run out of the tavern with a speed he didn't think humanly possible. Oh, it was such fun messing with the new guy...

* * *

**You would not believe how much fun I had writing this. Poor Ace... lol. I figured, since Thatch seems to get quite a bit of fandom abuse (though we love him so), I'd show him dealing out the abuse for once. lol. Please R&R.**


	2. Lazy 3 'o Clock Sunday

**So, this is from the new Chaos Thread that was posted on LJ by eiliem, the link will be in my profile.**

**Prompt: **Lazy 3 'o Clock Sunday  
**Charcters:** Marco, Whitebeard Crew.

* * *

He leaned until his back was resting against the opposite side of the crow's-nest, eyelids at half-mast. It seemed the highest point of the ship was the only place he could get a little peace from the hectic role he filled. Thatch called it his 'perch', which quickly earned him a palm over the head—always resulting in the Fourth Division Commander frantically making sure not a hair was out of place. With a twinge of reluctance, Marco ran through his mental To-Do list.

Sneak sake to Oyaji without the nurses knowing? Check.

Keep Ace from setting the ship on fire? Check.

Keep Ace from drowning because he fell asleep again? Check.

Tie Ace to the mast with seastone to keep him out of trouble? Twice… Ace had talked Haruta into freeing him the first time.

Make sure no one tries to arm-wrestle with Jozu unless they're his size? Check—though Marco routinely breaks that rule himself.

Get rid of the spiders he could see because Thatch is a pansy when it comes to those things? Check. Exasperated sigh…

Somehow manage to keep Ace and Thatch from causing an explosion with hairspray and fire? Miraculously, check.

Prevent Teach from raiding the kitchen for pie? Check.

The list went on and on, but it seemed to Marco as though he'd completed it all. Not a mishap to be found that hadn't been taken care of. He'd even managed to keep the nurses from taking money from every commander in today's game of poker. All in all, a good day. With a content sigh, Marco let his eyes slip shut and took in the moment of peace he'd been granted.

_BOOM! POW! CRACK!_

"What the hell, Vista?"

Ace's startled exclamation meant that Vista had been training with his swords and likely nearly lobbed the Fire Fist's hand off… again.

"What the hell is _that _thing?"

Thatch found another spider.

"Dammit, Teach!"

Teach got into the kitchen… even though Marco had locked that place up better than Impel Down.

"My arm!"

Someone tried to arm-wrestle Jozu again.

With a groan, Marco ducked his head so as to avoid being seen by the other members of the crew. Perhaps if they didn't know where he was, he wouldn't have to play mediator. As long as Oyaji didn't give him orders, he'd be fine.

"MARCO!"

Dammit.

* * *

**Please R&R.**


	3. Seafloor

**Prompt:** Seafloor  
**Character(s):** Luffy

* * *

He'd been trapped on the seafloor by his ambition, his undying need to free his navigator from the fish-man that held her captive. Of course, his thoughts weren't riding that train. No, they were more of:

_Dammit! I gotta get my feet out of this cement so I can help Nami!_

Such was the mind of Monkey D. Luffy. But it may have been that simplicity that the others admired most about him. He didn't over-think things, which put them in predicaments like this, but that made him more accepting. He never questioned his nakama; he simply understood they had reasons for their actions. He had his reasons.

Live without regrets. While that path had temporarily earned him a place at the bottom of the sea, quickly losing consciousness, it would also bring him to become King of the Pirates. There was no doubt about that in the minds of his nakama.

* * *

**Please R&R.**


	4. Cult

**Prompt: **Cult

**Character(s): **Ace, Whitebeard Crew

* * *

The newest member of the Whitebeard Pirates glanced around the very large room he was in. Shadowy figures surrounded him to the point where he couldn't make out any of their faces. Sure, he could recognize the vague forms of Marco (his hair gave it away), Jozu (his size) and Thatch (hair again), but that was about it. The figures stepped back, creating a clear pathway to the back of the room for the new member.

He glanced around at the others, unsure what in the _hell_ was going on here. Really, he'd just been told to meet Vista in the galley for… something… Izou never said. And when he went down there, what did he find? The entire room turned into some kind of creepy ceremony hall. They probably used the galley because it was one of the few rooms that could actually hold all the commanders and Whitebeard—who he saw in the back; there was no missing that man in a room… or anywhere else for that matter.

As he began walking down the path that had been created for him, Fire Fist Ace could see one of the nurses standing next to where Whitebeard was seated, holding a contraption he couldn't name. In his defense, it was too dark to see the thing. Ace looked at the commanders again, raising an eyebrow at them. Was _this_ what they did when someone joined the crew?

"What the hell?" he asked, finally voicing the one question that kept repeating in his mind. "All you're missing is the sacrificial lamb." The laugh he heard came from Thatch.

"Careful. Last time I said that, the previous Second Division Commander yelled at me," he said.

"Get up here. We don't have all night, and these tattoos take forever," the nurse beside Whitebeard ordered, allowing the contraption—a tattoo needle—to whir loudly in the nearly silent room.

"I thought I was joining a crew, not a cult," Ace muttered as he continued to walk forward.

* * *

**Please R&R**


	5. Monster

**Prompt: **Monster

**Character: **Marco

* * *

He was a demon. If ever there was a definition for the word, his face could be seen alongside it. His body was made of flames, causing destruction wherever he went. It was a miracle he hadn't destroyed the ship a hundred times over out of recklessness in his younger years.

What good was there in fire? Warmth? Maybe, but that only led to burning. _Oh gods, what have I done?_ Light? Sure, but that light led to blindness, literally or metaphorically. _I'm sorry…_ Togetherness, like a family around a campfire? Only until that campfire becomes a raging inferno that destroys everything he once held dear. _Wait! Come back!_

Ace wasn't the only man with the blood of a devil in him, nor was he the only one capable of using flames. He had always been a demon. That Mythical Zoan simply made it obvious to the common eye.

* * *

**I'd decided to go for a much darker theme for this instead of the humor I've been doing, especially concerning the Whitebeard Crew. So, I hope you guys like this little change in pace. I just figured, we don't know about Marco's past. Who's to say he had a 'devil' as a father (or mother, for a nice twist)? And who's to say he didn't experience any horrors as an effect of having his Devil Fruit ability? Anyway, I'm rambling. Please R&R.**


	6. Never Speak of Again

**Prompt: **"And we shall NEVER speak of this again."

**Characters: **Thatch, Ace

* * *

Thatch quirked an eyebrow at the dark-haired lad hanging above him. The Fourth Division Commander wore an amused expression on his features, earning a very harsh I'm-going-to-kill-you glare from the younger man. Really, how the _hell_ had Ace managed to pull this one off? Sure, the Fire Fist was a little troublemaker, but Thatch hadn't expected him to get _stuck_ while trying to pull off his latest attempt on Oyaji's life.

"How did you-"

"Shut up."

"But the Den Den Mushi?

"Shut up."

"And the sheets?"

"Shut up."

"And what the hell is that thi-"

"Do you know how to shut the hell up?"

Thatch glanced around the galley, not sure he really _wanted_ know what all this junk was for. He hadn't even known it was on the ship! Of course, he didn't know what some of that crap was, either. Thatch chalked it up to something only Ace could pull out of the void of another universe. Shaking his head, Thatch turned to leave.

"Jozu's going to get a kick out of this one."

"Don't you dare!"

"Are you kidding? This is hilarious. I should be taking pictures."

"You tell anyone and I'll make sure the whole crew knows about what you did on the last island we stopped at."

…

"And we shall _never_ speak of this again."

"Good choice. Now get me down from here."

"That wasn't part of the deal. See you later, Ace."

"Hey! You bastard!"

* * *

**So, yeah, I got back into my funny-mode for this one. I just hope people don't mind that I focus _most_ of these drabbles on the Whitebeard Pirates (primarily Marco, Thatch and Ace)... What can I say, I'm a WB Crew fangirl. lol. Please R&R.**


	7. Aftershocks

**Prompt:** Aftershocks

**Characters: **Whitebeard Pirates

* * *

Trying to live on after that fateful battle was more than difficult. Hell, it was a fucking nightmare. It wasn't just the war that took a toll on them, though. It was the whole damn ordeal, starting with Teach, that bastard.

Because of him, they'd lost the brightest grin to ever—and we me _ever_—be seen aboard the _Moby Dick_. Thatch had been the prankster of the group, kept everything lively. Did he get to be annoying as hell some days? Sure, but there was never a dull moment. There were few moods bad enough that they couldn't be fixed after a conversation with the Fourth Division Commander. The loss of such a great man hit the crew as hard as one of Oyaji's earthquakes.

Everything was just a downward spiral from there.

Ace was killed in that battle, effectively snuffing out the brightest flame anyone in Whitebeard's crew had ever seen before. It wasn't just his Devil Fruit; the man had this determination in his eyes that never seemed to falter, even when hope seemed lost. The Whitebeard Pirates hadn't seen him falter in Impel Down, resigning to give up, and they'd revived that flame at Marineford. Until that damn Marine bastard killed him in the time it takes for you to blow out a candle.

Then went Oyaji. His final words shook the world like his Devil Fruit. He was a mountain of a man, the strongest man alive, and he'd been killed because of that damn _coward_! But he never backed down. He died on his feet and renewed the hope of every adventure-seeker in the world. When he passed on, he took a part of each of his sons with him.

Now, the Whitebeard Pirates were left to deal with what was left. Marco still walked with a slight limp, after having been shot by light bullets from Kizaru. Having been in seastone cuffs at the time of the injury, his wounds had taken longer to heal than they should have. He now felt the aches in his body with each step he took, waiting for his Devil Fruit powers to fully heal the wounds.

And Jozu nearly lost his right arm. That was a fucking nightmare for the nurses to try and put back together. It was really a miracle he'd be able to use that arm again, after having been frozen and cracked off. No one would ever be able to figure out how the nurses pulled that one off, but they were damn grateful that it worked.

Aside from the physical pains they felt, though, there was a pain in all of their chests that none of them could shake. Their morale had been weakened, maybe even broken for a time. They had suffered greatly, lost two brothers, and lost their father.

And to think, it had all started because they found that damned Devil Fruit: the Yami Yami no Mi.

* * *

**I felt this one deserved a serious tone... not dark, just serious. Please R&R.**


	8. Revenge

**Prompt: **Revenge

**Character: **Ace

* * *

Revenge had never been the plan. The idea was the exact _justice_… God, how he hated the word now. All his life, all he'd ever heard was 'justice'. That, and "I'll make you a Marine, dammit!" But that was Gramps, and he'd come to accept that the old man would never change. Talking never did Ace any good, so he simply defied Gramps. Not like he would've have done what he wanted anyway.

But justice _needed_ to be served to that black-bearded bastard! As much as Ace _hated_ the word, he understood its meaning perfectly as it pertained to him. Teach had killed his nakama, his brother. In order for Thatch to rest in peace and to be rid of the dishonor brought to Oyaji's name, Ace _had_ to kill Teach.

But Ace's plan to bring about the justice he so powerfully desired was brought to an end when he lost that fight on Banaro and was captured by the very bastard he was hunting. He'd failed himself, his brothers… and his father.

Now he was dying, whispering dying words into his brother's ear between ragged breaths. He was in _so much pain_ and couldn't think of a worse death than this. He had failed and he was dying at the hands of a bastard Marine, because he couldn't defeat that bastard Blackbeard.

And as the last drop of life left his body, Ace knew exactly _why_ he was in that position.

It was because, deep down, Ace was really just a vengeful bastard.

* * *

**Please R&R**


End file.
